We can turn fear into force

Fears can become a point of support and even a powerful force that helps us move forward. But how exactly? Our journalist spoke about her own fears to the philosopher Charles Pepen and psychotherapist Margarita Zhamkochyan. One plot from two positions.

Elena Shevchenko, Psychologies: Let’s talk about what I’m afraid of personally. I hope you will help me understand my fears and overcome them. For starters, my completely natural concern: I would not want to be left without work or interrupt random earnings ..

Charles Pepen: Like any person, you can lose your permanent job, and your income may decrease. But to be on the street for most of us does not threaten. In fact, we willingly hide in the cocoon of “fear of being outside” our deeper fears associated, for example, with the meaning of our lives, and not just with financial or social viability.

Margarita Zhamkochyan: Let’s start with the fact that fear itself means that we are in the zone of failure, inefficiency. He limits our capabilities. Therefore, if a person is afraid of heights, mountains are closed for him, and the fear of losing work (as in your case, Elena) closes your own desires and ambitions from you. This self -restraint is connected either with unwillingness to fall out of the social cell, to be a “unit”, an individuality that itself chooses its own path, or with fear of losing control over the situation.

Can I turn this fear into a driving force?

Sh. P.: Not everything can be beneficial to your benefit. It may seem paradoxical, but in order to overcome their fears, it seems to me that we should first admit that they weaken us, make us vulnerable. And do not try to cope with them a ragged.

M. AND.: The transformation of fear into driving power is not easy. The first step is to get the fear out and consider it, to make invisible visible. And it is better that this happens in a relatively safe environment that psychotherapists help create. Removing fear causes an amazing effect – the personality capabilities in all areas of its activity increase, there is a feeling of boundlessness of their own strength – “I can do everything”.

Sh. P.: Everything boils down to go to a meeting with what is hidden inside us, more precisely, with our desires. Jacques Lacan said: “The purpose of psychoanalysis is to find a way to be true to his desires”. Some philosophers, for example Nietzsche, also put forward this demand for fidelity to themselves. So, perhaps, when we are paralyzed by fear, it would be useful to try to understand what this fear speaks of ourselves.

But some fears exist objectively and inherent in almost everyone: for example, I am worried about the future of my children ..

Sh. P.: I want to tell you right away that this is a “good” fear. It seems to me more reasonable and healthier than the fear of being left without means. Probably because this feeling is connected with altruism, and the fear of poverty closes a person on himself ..

Their book therapy

Our interlocutors called us books that will help protect themselves from fears and doubts.

Margarita Zhamkochyan recommends:

• Abraham Maslow “Far limits of the human person”. Eurasia, 2002.
• Lawrence Pertovy, Oliver John “Psychology of Personality. Theory and research “. Aspect Press, 2001.
• Erich Fromm “Freation from freedom”. AST, 2009.

Charles Pepen recommends:

• Epicurus “Fragments”. Director Publishing, 2002.
• Friedrich Nietzsche “Merry Science”. ABC-classic, 2010.
• Jean-Paul Sartre “Being and nothing”. AST, 2009.
• Montaen “Experiments”. Terra-Knight Club, 2008.

You can encourage me as a philosopher?

Sh. P.: This altruistic fear is also called “moral consciousness” or “historical responsibility”. It is in him, according to Kant, that the greatness of a person is concluded . I would advise you to first love this fear, since he exalts you. And then work on that. to become a good dead man ! After all, each of us knows: “I will die before my children, I am responsible for being born. So I need to try not to burden them too much after my death.

“.

Sh. P.: Sh. P.: To be a good deceased means not to spoil the life of those who remain to live, and if necessary to help them. Some philosophical systems, such as Kantovskaya, would suggest that we wonder: “What should I have time to say? What a family secret I will have to reveal before my death?»There are things that need to be revealed in order to finally get rid of them. You still need to convey values to the next generation: honesty in front of yourself, freedom … If you work in this direction, you will see that your fear will disperse.

It turns out that it is inherited something inherited to your children is a way to gain immortality and, therefore, is less afraid?

Sh. P.: I would rather talk about eternity, not immortality. Immortality is a life that does not end. And eternity is peeping in a wonderful moment or in the value that we defend and want to convey … Yes, in order to defeat our fear of letting those we love, we will try to work on what belongs to eternity in our relations with children.